Langgam na Hinahanap ang Naamoy na Candy

Para sa mga tinatamad nang magtrabaho this early, routinary na lang ba? Nasaan naman ang fulfillment?

Now, God is a road. And we, pilgrims.

mula sa http://www.hangad.org/pages/ministry/recordings/songs.php?action=viewsong&song_id=00024

Pilgrim's Theme (Greater Scheme Of Things)
Music by: Manoling Francisco, SJ Lyrics by: Johnny Go, SJ
Arrangement: Paulo K Tirol Soloist: Julius Guevara

Tired of weaving dreams too loose for me to wear

Tired of watching clouds repeat their dance on air

Tired of getting tied to doing what's required

Is life a mere routine in the greater scheme of things?

Through with going through, one more day what's new?

Does my life still mean a thing in the greater scheme of things?

I think I'll follow the voice that calls within

Dance to the silent song it sings

I hope to find my place

So my life will fall in place

I know in time I'll find my place

In the greater scheme of things

Each must go his way but how can I decide,

Which path I should take, who will be my guide?

I need some kind of star to lead me somewhere far

To find a higher dream in the greater scheme of things

The road before me bends, I don't know what I'll find

Will I meet a friend or ghosts I've left behind?

Should I even be surprised that You're with me in disguise

For it's Your hand that I have seen in the greater scheme of things

I think I'll follow the voice that calls within

Dance to the silent song it sings

I hope to find my place

So my life will fall in place

I know in time I'll find my place

For Yours is the voice in my deepest dreams

You are the heart, the very heart of the greater scheme of things

Why don't we follow the voice that calls within?

Dance to the silent song it sings

I hope to find my place

So my life will fall in place

I know in time I'll find my place

There comes a time in everyone’s life when one has to choose between roads. Often it’s a choice between a road we already know too well, and one that’s much narrower, less familiar, bending beyond what your eyes can see. The thing is, you know you must choose—lest you remain a wanderer all your life and you simply run out of roads. Each one’s road is different. But all of us are born pilgrims: We are all meant to seek that one road that will lead us home. It’s not an easy task, but don’t be afraid. If you seek it, your road will find you. (Johnny Go, SJ)

Hindsight, Foresight, Insight.

Wala lang. Naalala ko lang yung napulot ko sa COA noon pa. (Haha parang ang tagal na.)

Hindi ko na nga alam kung tama pa yung pagka-gets ko pero for some purposes naghohold pa naman.

Hindsight: What you learn/ realize as you look back. Ala learn from experience.

Foresight: Realizations mo na makatutulong sa iyo moving forward, mga nakikita mong mangyayari in the future kaya naiisip mo na kung ano ang dapat gawin.

Insight: Wala lang. Insight mo sa ngayon? Maaari rin namang light bulb moment mo ngayon na maglead sa isang hindsight or foresight.

Naaalala ko rin yung comment ng Th151 teacher ko noon: In hindsight, you'll see how God was working through your dark moments. Something to that effect.

May nakita kasi akong langgam na hinahanap yung naaamoy niyang matamis na candy. Ang layo na kasi ng nilakad niya at kung anu-ano nang obstacle ang kanyang sinuong pero hindi pa rin niya nararating yung "goal" niya. Parang gusto ko itong i-cheer on para magpatuloy.

Most of the time ganon ako/ tayo. Siguro mahina tayo/ako sa insight. Kasi madalas umaaangal kung may mga dark moments (thank God walang super dark). Mahina ang response sa tawag ng proseso/ pagtubo na dahan-dahan. Or siguro, gaya nung langgam, maliit tayo compared s a greater scheme of things kaya parang ang tagal nung process, hindi na makayanan. Pero looking back, nalampasan din naman pala, thru hindsight, not bad after all.

Wala lang. I invite you to also consider having hindsights/ foresights more often. It helps, lalo na't uber liit nga naman natin kumpara sa greater scheme of things.

Pahinging Panalangin

O Diyos, salamat sa biyaya Mong pag-asa, pag-ibig at pananalig. Pag-asa upang patuloy kaming makipag-kapwa at maniwalang laging meron pa. Pag-ibig upang punuin ang aming sarili sa pamamagitan ng paghahandog nito sa iba. Pananalig upang mapagtantong lahat ng ito ay Pagkakatawang-tao at Pag-ibig ni Kristo para sa lahat sa pamamagitan namin. Amen.


Ang astig talaga ng pagtatalaban ng Pag-asa, Pag-ibig at Pananalig. Parang Banal na Santatlo.

May Dalaw

Halaw ito sa isang mensahe mula sa e-mail kaya maaring pamilyar na kayo.

Hay, sana ay may patutunguhan pang ang mga ganitong kuwento.

Friends! I have yet to think of a sustainable way to lift people up, kahit hindi lahat pero sana may impact kahit sa Pilipinas lang. I know you are thinking of the same thing so baka mas maganda kung magsama-sama tayo. Hehe

The Visit

Ruth went to her mail box and there was only one letter. She picked it up and looked at it before opening.There was no stamp, no postmark, only her name and address. She read the letter:

Dear Ruth,

I`m going to be in your neighborhood Saturday afternoon and I'd like to stop by for a visit.

Love Always,
Jesus

Her hands were shaking as she placed the letter on the table. "Why would the Lord want to visit me? I'm nobody special. I don't have anything to offer." With that thought, Ruth remembered her empty kitchen cabinets. "Oh my goodness, I really don't have anything to offer. I'll have to run down to the store and buy something for dinner." She reached for her purse and counted out its contents. Five dollars and forty cents. Well, I can get some bread and cold cuts, at least." She threw on her coat and hurried out the door. A loaf of French bread, a half-pound of sliced turkey, and a carton of milk...leaving Ruth with grand total twelve cents to last her until Monday. Nonetheless, she felt good as she headed home, her meager offerings tucked under her arm.

"Hey lady, can you help us,lady?" Ruth had been so absorbed in her dinner plans, she hadn't even noticed two figures huddled in the alleyway. A man and a woman, both of them dressed in little more than rags.

"Look lady, I ain't got a job, ya know, and my wife and I have been living out here on the street, and, well, now it's getting cold and we're getting kinda hungry and, well, if you could help us. Lady, we'd really appreciate it."

Ruth looked at them both. They were dirty, they smelled bad and frankly, she was certain that they could get some kind of work if they really wanted to. "Sir, I'd like to help you, but I'm a poor woman myself. All I have is a few cold cuts and some bread, and I'm having an important guest for dinner tonight and I was planning on serving that to Him."

"Yeah, well, okay lady, I understand. Thanks anyway." The man put his arm around the woman's shoulders, turned and headed back into the alley.

As she watched them leave, Ruth felt a familiar twinge in her heart. "Sir, wait!" The couple stopped and turned as she ran down the alley after them. "Look, why don't you take this food. I'll figure out something else to serve my guest." She handed the man her grocery bag. "Thank you lady.

"Thank you very much!"

"Yes, thank you!" It was the man's wife, and Ruth could see now that she was shivering.

"You know, I've got another coat at home. Here, why don't you take this one." Ruth unbuttoned her jacket and slipped it over the woman's shoulders. Then smiling, she turned and walked back to the street...without her coat and with nothing to serve her guest. "Thank you lady! Thank you very much!"

Ruth was chilled by the time she reached her front door, and worried too. The Lord was coming to visit and she didn't have anything to offer Him. She fumbled through her purse for the door key. But as she did, she noticed another envelope in her mailbox. "That's odd. The mailman doesn't usually come twice in one day."

Dear Ruth,

It was so good to see you again. Thank you for the lovely meal. And thank you, too, for the beautiful coat.

Love Always,
Jesus

The air was still cold, but even without her coat, Ruth no longer noticed.

Hindi magiging madali pero hindi naman hinihingi sa atin na ayusin ang lahat.
We just need to do our part. Our big part. :)

Your Evol!

Hindi yan tungkol sa love ha, just like my old elementary days when some people (actually kids) used to refer to LOVE as EVOL, or ebol nga ata eh.. Howell, gone are the old (este young) days hehe..

“Your evol” actually means “Ansama mo!” Take that from a Chinay na ka-batch ko kapag may nang-aasar sa kanya (malamang boy na may pagka-bully pero feeling close.)


Naisip ko lang idocument yung mga na-retain sa isip ko na hindi naman super evol pero siguro mean. Hindi naman ako super galing sa English, actually madalas nga akong magkamali sa grammar at pronounciation eh, pero, gusto ko pa ring ibahagi ito sa inyo.

“Dalawa ngang show. Saka isang top.”

Sabi yan ng manong na nakapila sa harap ko, hindi sa sinehan or sa mall kundi sa may ticket counter ng MRT. Ang sama (or rather Ansama) ko no?

Can I hold you for a while?

Aakalain mong manyak o anuman eh no? Sinabi ko yan before sa girl/interviewer na kausap ko over the phone dahil nais ko sana siyang paghintayin ng kaunti. Whew! Buti na lang hindi niya naisip na may malisya kasi tinawagan pa niya ako ulit for another interview. Naks! Though eventually hindi ako natanggap dun sa company na yun..

Eto luma na:

Sir, I’ll just repeat your order: Hamburger with chess?

Narinig ko lang iyan sa friend ko ha. Napaisip nga siya ng isasagot dun eh.

Eto mejo luma na rin.

Habang nakapila sa isang fastfood counter ata para bumili ng chicken:

Miss, meron kayong breasts?

Sagot naman nung girl: Meron po.

Naisip kong ilagay din dito yung kinuwento ni Tish about her friend/ teacher na medyo repressed ata pero huwag na lang.

Sabi naman coño na nagwowork sa call center habang sinisingil na siya ng bangko dahil sa utang niya:
(Over the phone) “TALK TO ME IN ENGLISH! Hindi kita maintindihan!”

Whatever. Ayaw mo lang magbayad eh hehe.

Eto, mas recent, noong isang araw lang:

Sir, you ordered one mongolian bowl with teriyucky sauce.

Nagdalawang isip tuloy ako kung babayaran ko pa or icancel ko na lang yung order.

Tapos nag-contribute din si Precious, kwento raw sa kanya ng girl friend niya:

Souer (/sa-wer/) and cream flavor. At natawa yung friend niya, hindi dahil sa ‘sa-wer’, kundi dahil sa ‘and’. Ayus noh?

Eto pa isa:
Uy, silver sorfur oh! (Sulfur pa nga ata pagka-pronounce niya). Yun pala, tinitingnan niya yung ad ng latest na Fantastic 4.

Ang sama ko noh? Hehe. Naisip ko lang, ang dami pa talagang areas para gumawa ng kabutihan ano?

Twice na akong nakakita ng tulog na HSBC employees (naka-uniform kasi) sa shuttle on the way to HSBC (yup, dun ako nagwo-work.) May Fort Bonifacio bus kasi roaming around the Global City (punta tayo Market! Market!!) at monopolized nila yung public transport to HSBC and other places. (not unless umangkas ka sa motor or mag-taxi na P40 ata per head)

Anyway, yun tulog sila, pero hindi ko ginising kahit na nasa HSBC na kami. Hindi ko tuloy alam kung na-late ba sila or what, or baka mag-breakfast sila sa Market! Market! kaya steady lang tulog nila. Hehe..

Tapos, one time, on my way out sa MRT Ayala station, yung banda sa likod ko, nagkanda-laglag yung coins niya on her way out din. So habang pinupulot niya yung coins niya, naglalakad siya palabas since na-ilagay at nakuha na naman niya yung stored value ticket niya sa machine/gate. Eh hindi napansin nung guard na nalaglag lang yung coins nung girl. Akala niya, gumapang yung girl palabas at hindi nagbayad. Pinaulit tulit siya. Tsk tsk tsk. Sins of omission ata ang mga ito.

Yun lang. Actually, matagal ko na itong na-compose, ngayon ko lang na-post hehe. Ang bilis ng panahon grabe. Mabilis pala pag nagta-trabaho na. Though, admittedly, parang sobrang bagal ng panahon nung may time na delayed yung unang sweldo ko for more than two weeks ata. Siyempre, ang hirap nun chong.

Mindlessly playing with Heaven and Earth

Heaven
Earth
Hell
He- He-
Hell
Stabbed heart
Blood dripping
Dead
Alive
Go away, leave.

Poetic ba? O corny?

Napaisip lang kasi ako bigla ng makatanggap ako ng text message na mejo hawig diyan. Mga 3am noon. Medyo in-edit ko na lang para mas maganda, mejo sablay kasi yung sa text message (at least for me).

Naisip ko lang na napakamanhid ko na pala, nagsimula lalu na noong bata pa ako. (Reminds me of Precious saying dark daw yung Peter Pan Tagalized version ng Ch.2 noon, yung may tatlong bugoys sa treehouse. Sabi ko kasi paborito ko yun noon. Sabi niya dark daw. Talaga? Wala akong pakialam sa ganun dati ah!)

Coupled with a text message like the one above. Eh dati kinakanta-kanta ko lang yan eh! I’m sure yung ibang bata rin, naglalaro pa ng ganyan. Pero medyo gory or dark or violent pala yung meanings, mas na-highlight dahil sa version na iyan sa itaas..

Dati parang meaningless words lang eh, chant/ song lang to begin a kiddie game..
(which reminds me again of sasara ang bulaklak at bubuka ang bulaklak, inosente pero nang ginawang kanta, medyo pang-adults only na ata ang dating)

Hay. Wala lang. Mas nagging aware lang ako sa mga conditioning na natatanggap na natin unconsciously. Hindi ko kasi naisip noong bata pa ako na ganun eh. Looking back, sino ba naming bata ang matutuwa sa images ng heart dripping with blood due to stab wounds? Or with images of death and hell? Well I used to.

Or baka kasi in Filipino so hindi masyado pangit…
Pero hindi rin eh…

Langit
Lupa
Impiyerno.
Im-, Im-
Impiyerno
Saksak puso
Tulo ang dugo
Patay
Buhay
Alis ka na diyan.

halalan 2007

Congratulations sa lahat ng nakibahagi sa halalan!

Saludo rin ako sa mga teachers at tapat na comelec officials, pati sa simbahan at sa iba pang grupong nakikita ang halaga ng eleksyon na ito.

I (we) just voted yesterday!
Nakakatuwa nga eh hehe...

9 of 12 ata ng binoto ko ay nasa top 12 yey! hehe...
exciting pala!

Marami sigurong nahirapang pumili..
Naisip ko nga, we don't have much of a choice. Maybe all of them are liars (maybe) or lahat bolero or kakampi ng kung sinumang hoodlum.. Hay.

The best we can do I suppose is to get to know them better... research and all. fault ko rin (or nating voters) siguro na hindi natin masyado inusisa ang mga pagkatao nila for whatever personal reason we have... So we'll just have to make the most out of what we know about these people, together with their promises (platforms) with fingers crossed that they'll actually work on their promises...

naisip ko rin while I was walking to this net cafe I'm in, there's really hope for our country, and I'm glad we took part in keeping it...

Nabalitaan ko kasi, hindi pa natutulog yung mga nagbibilang na teachers.. I doubt kung para lang yun sa (P1000+ or so) na bayad sa kanila... I just pray na it's because they see the essence of what they are doing, or counting or guarding or whatever... Nasabi mo rin na nakakainis kasi pinaghihirapan ng mga tao then gagarapalin lang ng dagdag bawas sa taas.. I agree too. Buwisit talaga! Pero I pray (again) na mas naging vigilant na ang mga tao ngayon. Sana. Sana. at sana wala nang mamatay dahil lang sa eleksyon na yan, lalu ng yung supporters! Kung meron man, yung mga kurakot at mandaraya na lang sana ahehe... May pagpapahalaga pa rin ang mga tao sa eleksyon unlike what other people say na wala nang naniniwala dito. sana nga lang wag babuyin ng mga kandidato at masasamang loob..

excited na ako sa results. sana hindi dayain.

*** as of now, #9 si trillanes. sna kayanin niya. hindi ko inexpect pero natuwa ako nang makita ko yun hehe